I miss my kong.

I received a saddening news today before my CT observation. I was so worried and affected about it. sighs.

CT Observation 1 :

On my part, I felt that I didnt do well cos of class management. When I spoke to my ct abt it, she said she wasn't much looking into class management and more of teaching ideas only. which meant I escaped somehow. likely she knew how her class was and I was new, so she didnt really take consideration into that. There were some minor areas I had to take note of only. I was rather upset with my class today, cos they were abit noisy and uncontrollable. I'm afraid they will be like this when Sup and NSC sits in tmr. I am so stress. Initially was only Sup alone, but NSC told us at the last min that she was coming in and had to send her our lp by 9pm. arghhh. super stress! I reflected on myself later if my class was too noisy and all, or was I too anal about noise and minor stuffs. Probably I set high expections of them to behave well when my ct sits in, over demanding? Or was it like you know I could not handle the bad news and I started to feel quite helpless about it? I scolded them till my tears wanna burst. seriously. Like this was my very first time so angry about it. I don't want them to be like this tmr. really. I am so scared. hais. 2 more obs to go, and let me clear by this friday. Rushing all my lp for obs now. so much things are lagged at the back, gonna clear it by next week. I miss my bed super much.

This week had been seriously torturous, I thought it was a good news for me to clear everything by this fri, apparently it wasnt. sighs. I am now praying very hard for her recovery. I hope she can pull through these 2 days. God's so unfair, how can you suddenly decide to want to take a person's life away without giving any notices before hand? She had been so nice and friendly everytime. Please let her discharge from ICU soon, will You? I wanted to go to the hospital right now, but I guess it wasn't anappropriate time to go. sighs. I don't wanna mention anything further about this, cos I know she is going to get well by tomorrow! I KNOW!
jia you........we can't wait to hear your laughters again. I really feel quite useless.. I can't see to help in anything at all..hais..


Baby I miss you alot too, really. Once my stuffs are cleared, I might take a MC this Monday.